Friday, May 30, 2008

So I'm NOT crazy?

Went to Doc yesterday talked about my anxiety level which has always been a problem - so much my father's daughter - anyway I realized that I'm not my usual laid back self and part of that I know is having a two year old, part OMG I'm going to be 40 and the rest is CRAZY. BUT my doc reassured me and happily put me back on meds. I'm a little disappointed that I couldn't do it myself but relieved to know it should be back in check very soon.
I hate being so uptight and bitchy! what if it doesn't make any difference and this is just how I am now. old and crotchety. and medicated. so there.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Looks like we made it.....

Sweet Success... Sierra's little party was a hit. And mommy didn't stress out too much and actually enjoyed it. The key is to keep adults happy with big kid drinks and the little ones with as many activity options as possible. Kept the food simple and easy.....even had a few hang out with us for a cook out. I love our life.

It was awesome having my sis and family around us too. Bunny loves them so much and gets so excited when she hears their names or sees them. Heart melt. BUT I will add that I realize how much space I really need and it was weird to hear all these rules fall out of my mouth - toilet seats have to stay down, Sierra doesn't get choices at meals, gate needs to be closed, gate stays open during nap time, no eating in the living room.....and the list goes on. It's so strange that I have become this person and actually state what I want or don't want. I think I cruised along for such a long time trying to make everyone else happy that I forgot to make sure I was happy. So now it comes to bear that people aren't sure how to deal with me.
NMP as G. likes to say not my problem. Besides I have a million excuses for being "different" starting the "change", have a toddler = less sleep, have a new lifestyle (sort of), etc etc or blah blah blah.....

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Say what?

Bunny is saying so many words that it's hard to keep up - "go to school" is said with so much enthusiasm that it makes my heart happy - knowing that she is happy there and has friends to play with helps me feel better about the whole "childcare" thing. It is a struggle constantly for me to feel good about it but I think it's easier now that she has her words, signs, etc to say no! mine! and be able to stand up and defend herself - which she is doing very well thank you very much. I think part of my worry was that she was going to love her teacher just a little bit too much and that there wouldn't be any extra for G. and me. But that's silly talk - Daddy is her favourite word, well BOBO is a close second - then mama-ugh! is reserved for "help" "I'm tired" "I'm almost 2 and don't know what to do" etc I'm working on Mummy which she does use but mama falls out often.
We're having our first cookout - which will be interesting because of the new me it will be a mix of veggie and yucky burgers (I still need to find someone to make them) I'm looking forward to it because our neighbours are very easy going and we really enjoy spending time with them.

Last night was girls night - we've switched it up and have been going to R'p which is a nice change but kind of a pain to get there on a Tuesday night not to mention that we don't get there until 7:30 - so if I go home I risk the Bunny factor - not letting me leave peacefully and having G deal with a blubbering mess while I run out for a light hearted fun filled ladies night...... or finding something to do that will kill an hour or two - so I worked later than usual and stopped by TJ's for a quick fix - ended up being there longer than planned and didn't get to the bar until 7.20 oops. Since we start "later" I get home much later - after 10 pm last night a rock star I tell you - G. was already in bed but still awake, a little grumpy since he's night sucked with 2 dirty disobedient monsters... and no water (that's another story!) I was still wound up from my outing and wasn't ready to sleep so I was going to have a glass of wine - yes I needed another drink - and watch TV for a few minutes - G. decided to join me so we reviewed the evening and caught up on some stuff.
Now my ass is dragging - how is it I could do this "party" thing 7 nights a week and still function all day at work - yes I had naps and didn't have a toddler that likes to wake up at the butt crack of dawn or earlier if possible. I think I just answered my question.

Friday, May 2, 2008

that's it?

the days are flying by and the realization that in just a few weeks we'll be the proud parents of a 2 year old have hit me was just the other day that Bunny was rumbling around in my stomache, pushing to get out, delivered, nursed, burped and she knows what she does and does not want to eat, wear, hear etc - AMAZING to say the least. It's Friday which is always exciting for me. The anticipation of the weekend and having 2 full days with my family to play outside, snuggle in our pj's or whatever we want to do. I actually have another girl function tonight - very social lately which may be contributing to my happy happy mood. I really do love being around people - hmmm that's a good thing because it would be quite difficult to not like being around them......